"Nightmares into Dreams ...back into Nightmares"...

Be careful what you dream for , you just may get it..  

When I did my first step my sponsor asked me to write a list of 10 things I wanted from recovery... I had no ability to dream big.. I put three things down...first I wanted my family to forgive me, second I wanted a girlfriend  third I wanted a career.... the other seven were STAY CLEAN.....I just reworded STAY CLEAN...  He told me that I would look back on this list in amazement , that I will surpass all my dreams...  He was right..

My nightmare became a dream.... I found a girl, we had kids...I found a career in sales and I was good at it..  then my ex drove me crazy and my kids don't ever stop asking for shit... "hey dad can we get some juice and crackers ... Daaaaad....can we get some juice and crackers.....I know you are pooping in the bathroom but can we have some juice and crackers...."    GO AWAY......Didn't I give you Juice yesterday?  why are you always thirsty?  "Dad...can I have 20 dollars to get you a Christmas gift?" 20 bucks? what kind of cheap ass gift you getting me? you know what daddy wants for Xmas?  20 frigging bucks , now go away.....slowly the dream was turning back into a nightmare... we break up.... maybe the dream is coming back? she gives me full custody of the kids....NIGHTMARE AGAIN....  the career was going great till I realized in order to be a great salesman you need the ability to shut up even when things aggravate you....I'm not good at that....If a customer says something stupid I have a hard time letting it slip on by.... Now I'm getting in trouble for making people laugh at the customers expense....this sucks...or does it... NEW DREAM.... screw selling shit, I am gonna make fun of people for a living...I am gonna make people laugh in a setting that doesn't get me in trouble .. I'm gonna be a stand-up comedian...This dream kinda sucks sometimes too but I've learned that the simple act of following a dream is a dream...the joy is in the journey ...but I  Still have the kids making this journey kinda crowded and LOUD...Sell them on EBay.... Cant do that....ok fine...I love my kids, there I said it.....I guess they can stay and be part of the new dream...

Thanks for being a part of my dream

Mike