In my first few years of recovery I would identify with every J.F.T. meditation. It seemed like I was ALWAYS struggling with Isolation on Feb. 6th and Mar. 15th. June 22nd would come around and I would once again have a problem with acceptance and EVERY Oct. 22nd would bring the loud voice of my addiction shouting in my head again. I use to look ahead so I knew what I was going to be challenged with the following week. Its not like that anymore. I identify in a different way, I don't have to be in the middle of isolation to understand the importance of people.
Today's meditation spoke about amends. As for active addiction most of those were dealt with already. During my 17 years here I have accumulated a few more and out of those maybe one or two still need attention. As the meditation reads, if you are not ready to PAY it back then don't bother saying sorry..so I checked my wallet and yet again I am broke...Hopefully by next July 6th I will be able to follow this meditation to the T...
I'm a firm believer that saying you're sorry is SORRY if you know you are going to do it again and again. I had to do some work on myself to insure that those behaviors were out of my life before I could say "I'm Sorry". If I eat the last piece of Reese's Peanut Butter Cake before my kids were able to have a piece I will NOT apologize. Even though their feelings are hurt and they are extremely disappointed I wont say SORRY because I know I am going to eat it EVERY TIME but I will apologize for rubbing it in, that was wrong and I am sorry..
Thanks for letting me share..
Mike G
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